Potty training your toddler: Methods and tips

When to potty train

There isn’t a specific “best age” to start potty training.  Begin when your child shows signs of readiness, between 18 months and 3 years. Every child develops at their own pace, and your toddler will show signs when they’re ready to use the toilet. The key is to be patient, attentive, and prepared when they’re ready.

Before using the toilet, a child should:

• Recognize their body parts, such as the penis, vagina, and bottom
• Be aware of bladder and bowel signals and show signs of control
• Follow simple instructions.
• Sit in the proper position.
• Be willing to use the toilet
  

Potty training can take a few days or several months, depending on your child's readiness, temperament, and the consistency of your approach. Some children pick it up quickly, while others need more time.

Signs of readiness

Staying dry for longer periods

If your toddler can stay dry for two hours during the day, it's a strong indicator that they’re developing the bladder control needed for potty training. You can test this by asking your child to hold their pee for a brief period, such as during a short car ride or outing. When you return, check their diaper to see if it’s dry.

Showing interest in the bathroom

When your child shows curiosity about the bathroom, it could be a sign they’re ready to start potty training. They may want to follow you inside the bathroom, watch you use the toilet, ask about the toilet, sink, or toilet paper, or show interest in wearing 'big kid' underwear.

Body awareness and communication

When your child signals the need for a diaper change or shows discomfort with a wet or dirty diaper, it’s a sign of growing body awareness. Older children directly ask to be changed, while younger ones may rely on facial expressions or body language to communicate their needs.

Motor skills

These motor skills can help make potty training easier:

• Walking forward and backward to sit on the toilet
• Pulling underwear and pants up and down
• Lifting a skirt or dress
• Tearing toilet paper.

While these skills are not required for potty training, they can make the process smoother and more efficient.

Following instructions

Potty training involves a series of steps and requires following simple directions.

Family readiness

Potty training is a team effort and involves the whole family. Potty training can take a few weeks or months of commitment and dedication. It’s best to start the process during a time without major changes like a move, travel, the arrival of a new sibling, starting daycare or camp, or other big transitions. Everyone should be patient, flexible with their schedules, and committed to a consistent routine.

How to prepare for potty training

Gather supplies

• A child-size toilet or toilet seat insert
• Travel pilot
• Step stool
• Underwear  

Use a timer

Potty training timers can remind children to use the bathroom at regular intervals. When the timer goes off, offer your child a choice to encourage decision-making, for example, "Do you want to use your toilet or my toilet?"

Create a routine

Kids thrive with predictability and they establish consistency. Involve your toddler in creating a flexible training schedule using a routine chart. Tape the chart to the bathroom wall so it’s visible and easy to reference.

Play it out

Practice potty training using imaginative play. Act out potty training scenarios with stuffed animals or puppets to provide a pressure-free way to talk about using the toilet. You can also read bathroom-themed picture books to further reinforce this important milestone.

Modeling

Schedule a playdate with a friend who is already toilet-trained. If the parents are comfortable, invite the friend into the bathroom to demonstrate and explain the process.

Daytime vs. nighttime potty training

First, focus on potty training during the daytime. Potty training is an overwhelming experience for parents and children and a gradual approach is more manageable and sustainable. Save nighttime potty training for after your child is fully potty trained during the day.

The 3-day potty training method

The 3-day potty training method is an intensive approach that focuses on teaching your child to use the toilet over three consecutive days. It requires close monitoring, encouragement, and a lot of time at home with your child. While it works well for some families, it may not be suitable for everyone and can sometimes lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Alternative methods

1. Child-oriented approach: This method follows your child's lead and pace, focusing on readiness signs and gentle encouragement without a strict timeline.
   
2. Scheduled training: Take your child to the toilet at regular intervals, rather than waiting for them to signal that they need to go.‍
3. Elimination communication: This method is used with infants and involves recognizing your child's signals and then holding them over a toilet.‍
4. Reward-based training: This system uses rewards to motivate your child to use the toilet. You can incorporate sticker charts or small prizes. To avoid added pressure, offer rewards for following a new routine, rather than poopor pee in the toilet.

Potty training tips

• Reassure and comfort: Offer comfort and reassurance and let your child know that using the toilet is a normal part of growing up.
• Desensitize gradually: Allow your child to sit on the toilet with their clothes, reading toilet-training books, or use pretend play.
• Positive associations: Create positive associations with the toiler by decorating it with stickers, singing special potty songs, blowing bubbles on the toilet, or adding food coloring to a toilet bowl.
• Patience and understanding: Be patient and avoid forcing or pressuring your child to use the toilet. Give them time to feel comfortable with the new routine.
• Modeling: Show your child that using the potty is part of everyday life and allow them to watch you use it.

What if potty training doesn’t work?

• Take a break: Take a break for a few weeks or even a few months. Together, create a countdown calendar to restart potty training.
• Reevaluate readiness: Make sure your child shows signs of readiness and isn't feeling rushed into training.
• Consistency and routine: Establish a consistent routine to reinforce potty habits. Tape a potty training schedule to the bathroom wall for reference.
• Consult a health professional: If challenges persist, consult your local or Summer Health pediatrician or a child development specialist.
• Stay positive: Stay positive and keep the potty training experience relaxed and enjoyable. Avoid punishing or reacting negatively to accidents or setbacks.